Day 15
Woke up (Still no butchering by the saw puppet man). Saw Glenn lying in the bed next to me, rolled out of bed, after the usual morning wrestle with the mosquito net. avoiding conflict with the floor, that could not have been cleaned since the compound was made by slipping on my flip flops or as they call them in Australia: thongs. Which in my experience only causes confusion when the middle aged man you're staying with tells you that you need to get some thongs.
I walked across the compound for my morning poo. But there was someone shaving in there. So I sat on what I think was a well with a slab of metal covering it. (I forgot to mention that the taboo subject of poo is a subject thrown around the volunteers and it is an acceptable topic of conversation, even at the dinner table. I learned in Africa girls do actually poo. But in England they don't. That's what I choose to believe anyway.) So yes someone was shaving in the toilet from Saw. It turned out to be Glenn "the shape shifter" Davis. I stared at him like I just witnessed him walking on water. Glenn was really confused as I said to him in awe "How did you do that?" Glenn must have thought I'd been drugged. It turned out that I must have fallen asleep after seeing Glenn lying asleep and then woke up presuming he was still there - what a misunderstanding. Or that's what Glenn said happened anyway. I'm on to you! What a crazy life I lead.
The daily routine was beginning to run really tired but the realisation that there were only two days left of the routine dragged us through. Also the fresh perspective and enthusiasm of Sean seemed to help a lot.
Whenever Joe and I are absent from the group, conspiracies seem to emerge, and yes they always seem to be right, we have snuck off for a cheeky beer, usually on the way to going somewhere or when getting food. Nap time is also a good opportunity.
Tonight Sean, Joe and me were sent out to get some Veg. It was pretty late and all the veg was used up in the food for the orphans. Nowhere in Santrokofi was open or would have any more veg until market day. We needed to get to Hohoe which is about a ten minute drive. After standing by the roadside to flag down a taxi, for what seemed forever. The only taxi we saw parked outside a spot or as we call them bar to cross the road to get a drink. So we spoke to him at the bar telling him we were on a vegetable hunt, getting a couple of road beers at the same time. Going against my better judgment getting in the banger racer cab with a driver who's drinking a bottle of something in the front. As soon as we got to Hohoe the driver told us "I don't think the market is open, you won't be able to get these things." Now he tells us. But we were determined not to come back empty handed as the rest of the group would have thought we had just gone to a bar the whole time.
We asked a few people who had stalls and one woman told us to follow her. It was quite a long walk weaving through mud huts and makeshift wooden stalls till we found a small community of mud huts with like a court where they prepared things for market. I think we paid over the odds but we didn't mind. We arrived back to Santro and returned our beer bottles to the spot. In Ghana beer is usually served in a bottle and the bar needs to return the bottles to the brewery otherwise they get a fine. The woman who works there told us we owed her bottles from the night before. Which we had given back to the wrong bar. We owed bottles all over town. Joe came up with a genius idea of buying some beers from the other bar on Harrison's walk home and then dropping them back on the way home. Since the iphone incident Harrison's grandmother would not allow him to stay over night, so every night we would walk him to the second village of Santro and then back again in the pitch black. After dropping him off and talking to his grandma we headed back.
We got back to the first town and a man started shouting at us from across the road. It wasn't aggressive it was like he knew us. He crossed the road and said "It's me Richard, the hunter" who we had seen with a gun in the forest on one of our day walks that week. Richard was very proud of his name because after everything he said he would mention " That is why I'm called Richard" He seemed pretty normal to us and wanted to walk us home. Which of course means lets go via a bar. He ordered himself a triple abatasi, The drink which burns your insides and then leaves your mouth with a horrible after taste but the round cost about 30p so who's complaining.
We were already late meeting the volunteers and we felt we should invite him to come to the bar with us. But Richard really dominated the conversation and went on a massive rant about his life and how his wife would do anything he asked. Kinza said to him "So if you called her and said I have 15 yavoo's here who are hungry and she would get up and cook for us" And then a number of other scenarios where thrown at him. I could tell that everyone was angry with me and Joe for inviting him there although I think it was entertaining. He would keep saying "Ask anyone about my stories they will tell you" Then he would tell us anyway. Eventually he did leave and then we just did impressions of him.
Sunday, 20 November 2011
Monday, 14 November 2011
Volunteering in Ghana - Day 14
Day 14
Daddy, I'm a farmer! This morning we each planted a plantain plant. Mine is going to grow into the biggest plantain plant in all the land. Kinza bought the farmland next to the orphanage that is being built to provide food for the orphanage once it is completed. At the moment it is about to have it's roof built.
Did the usual being a human trampoline/ climbing frame/ drool sponge for the day. Really understanding what it would be like to be a parent or at least what it would be like to be Steve Martin in "Cheaper by the Dozen" with out the slapstick comedy...well maybe some I guess. I don't think an hour goes by without a tantrem, or crying fit or one of the kids saying "give me toffee" or "give me one" or "Carry me". I always reply telling them to carry me, only because they never say the magic word. Maybe the kids work on a rota too, where they all have time slots to be the angel and the villain. They always seem to balance it out just right so it doesn't drive us completely up the wall and then they are all well behaved just before dinner and after dinner in case there are any leftovers. But they have started to learn when Brother Johnny is around there are no left overs.
Daddy, I'm a farmer! This morning we each planted a plantain plant. Mine is going to grow into the biggest plantain plant in all the land. Kinza bought the farmland next to the orphanage that is being built to provide food for the orphanage once it is completed. At the moment it is about to have it's roof built.
Did the usual being a human trampoline/ climbing frame/ drool sponge for the day. Really understanding what it would be like to be a parent or at least what it would be like to be Steve Martin in "Cheaper by the Dozen" with out the slapstick comedy...well maybe some I guess. I don't think an hour goes by without a tantrem, or crying fit or one of the kids saying "give me toffee" or "give me one" or "Carry me". I always reply telling them to carry me, only because they never say the magic word. Maybe the kids work on a rota too, where they all have time slots to be the angel and the villain. They always seem to balance it out just right so it doesn't drive us completely up the wall and then they are all well behaved just before dinner and after dinner in case there are any leftovers. But they have started to learn when Brother Johnny is around there are no left overs.
Volunteering in Ghana - Day 13
Day 13
Today Saviour arrived to join the group with Sister Vilda - she loves to clean. Again today was one of the routine days that felt very similar to the day before or maybe we still are in that day now, it's hard to tell.
My ability to say inappropriate things or saying that sounds dirty is reaching new levels. It's usually because my mouth just says things before my brain can catch up. I'm starting to sound like the Todd from scrubs with his "in your endos" I should write a book or should hire one of those note takers they have in court to document what is said, as I can't remember most of them. Hopefully some of the lovely volunteers can remember some. A funny one that I can remember, mainly because it keeps getting brought up - is on my Birthday when I was asked if I wanted to bath the orphans I replied with " It's my birthday, the orphans should be bathing me." Which taken in the wrong context could see me put on the register and banned from playgrounds, which is a shame as I like those roundabouts.
My favourite person who says inappropiate things accidentally has to be Beccy who once started a sentance with "When I was inside my mum..." when talking about her mum being pregnant. And she also started another with " I tell you what an inch makes all the difference" when talking about her new shoes.
Today Saviour arrived to join the group with Sister Vilda - she loves to clean. Again today was one of the routine days that felt very similar to the day before or maybe we still are in that day now, it's hard to tell.
My ability to say inappropriate things or saying that sounds dirty is reaching new levels. It's usually because my mouth just says things before my brain can catch up. I'm starting to sound like the Todd from scrubs with his "in your endos" I should write a book or should hire one of those note takers they have in court to document what is said, as I can't remember most of them. Hopefully some of the lovely volunteers can remember some. A funny one that I can remember, mainly because it keeps getting brought up - is on my Birthday when I was asked if I wanted to bath the orphans I replied with " It's my birthday, the orphans should be bathing me." Which taken in the wrong context could see me put on the register and banned from playgrounds, which is a shame as I like those roundabouts.
My favourite person who says inappropiate things accidentally has to be Beccy who once started a sentance with "When I was inside my mum..." when talking about her mum being pregnant. And she also started another with " I tell you what an inch makes all the difference" when talking about her new shoes.
Monday, 7 November 2011
Volunteering in Ghana - Day 12
Day 12
Good start to the day - wasn't tortured in the night. It's Monday and back to the summer school routine of rotas and schooling. In our class we seemed to have a few missing from the week before, which worked out well as it was easier to teach them, and also I didn't have to sharpen as many pencils as usual. We had a new addition to the Volunteers. Kinza's Brother Joe arrived to help out. He's a fan of road beers too, so we get on grand. I don't know how it happened but before I knew it we were at a pub.
More and more, the conversation is turning to the food the we miss and the levels of drool are becoming a health and safety issue. Anything different to rice. Anything.
Johnny Observations
All taxi drivers seem to be moonlighting as banger car racers. Using the same car for both. You're onto a winner when you get a taxi that has has all it's doors.
Good start to the day - wasn't tortured in the night. It's Monday and back to the summer school routine of rotas and schooling. In our class we seemed to have a few missing from the week before, which worked out well as it was easier to teach them, and also I didn't have to sharpen as many pencils as usual. We had a new addition to the Volunteers. Kinza's Brother Joe arrived to help out. He's a fan of road beers too, so we get on grand. I don't know how it happened but before I knew it we were at a pub.
More and more, the conversation is turning to the food the we miss and the levels of drool are becoming a health and safety issue. Anything different to rice. Anything.
Johnny Observations
All taxi drivers seem to be moonlighting as banger car racers. Using the same car for both. You're onto a winner when you get a taxi that has has all it's doors.
Thursday, 3 November 2011
Volunteering in Ghana - Day 11
Day 11
Was woken up by Yau who jumped in the bed for morning nap time in between me and Glenn. Glenn started playing the game that your dad does, or the uncle who's not really your uncle, plays with you. It's called the "I've got your nose" game. A game that has haunted generations of children for years. Glenn being British and Yau being African, it didn't really work. As the game usually goes the child would shout "put it back" or just burst into crying, thinking their nose has been stolen or ripped from their face. Poor Yau must have thought he was turning into Michael Jackson and his plastic nose had been removed. Despite Glenn's best efforts Yau didn't cry. More a look of confusion.
After the light introduction to the day, it turned dark when Glenn discovered that his iphone and ipod were missing. Glenn's ipod had gone missing two days before. It took Glenn two days to realise about the phone because nobody calls or texts him. It seemed like too much of a coincidence as we had already searched High and low. We began our investigation. Yau told us that he had seen cornelius and dolce with them on the friday when they went missing and he was told not to say anything. We separated the three older boys from the others and asked them what they knew. They wouldn't talk so we separated them. As soon as we did the little birds began to chirp. Dolce was the only one who didn't say anything. Was it to do with his loyalty to his boys or was it more than likely the fact that he doesn't understand any English.
I've seen a lot of interrogations in my time...well on TV anyway. The best tactical approach is as we all know the good cop/ bad cop method. One plays the bad guy, the other plays the friend. I got confused to which one I was so I ended up playing both characters. Being the only person in the room, I must have come across as having split personality syndrome and probably freaked out the orphan in question.
All this and it was only 11am and that meant time to leave for the waterfall. It was a bit of a trek but it was absolutely beautiful when we got there. It's the biggest waterfall in West Africa and it was a sight to behold. We went for a dip in the water and had to walk back first towards the falling water as the spray was so powerful. We slowly hobbled till we were under the fall. It felt like needles falling down on my head. It was the best power shower I have ever had and the closest to being in a Herbal Essence commercial I will ever get.
Glenn, Me and Kwame all moved out of the house to go to the compound. On the way Nunana saw me with my bags and asked "Are you going back to England?" I told him just to the compound. "What would you do if we were leaving" Nunana said "I'd get my bag and follow you".
The compound as I mentioned in a previous post has a bathroom that looks like it's out of Saw. It won't be long till a little puppet fella comes along and plays games with us where you have to chew through your own Achilles tendon or die and even if you do it, he'll have another trick up his sleeve and will kill us anyway. Prick.
Was woken up by Yau who jumped in the bed for morning nap time in between me and Glenn. Glenn started playing the game that your dad does, or the uncle who's not really your uncle, plays with you. It's called the "I've got your nose" game. A game that has haunted generations of children for years. Glenn being British and Yau being African, it didn't really work. As the game usually goes the child would shout "put it back" or just burst into crying, thinking their nose has been stolen or ripped from their face. Poor Yau must have thought he was turning into Michael Jackson and his plastic nose had been removed. Despite Glenn's best efforts Yau didn't cry. More a look of confusion.
After the light introduction to the day, it turned dark when Glenn discovered that his iphone and ipod were missing. Glenn's ipod had gone missing two days before. It took Glenn two days to realise about the phone because nobody calls or texts him. It seemed like too much of a coincidence as we had already searched High and low. We began our investigation. Yau told us that he had seen cornelius and dolce with them on the friday when they went missing and he was told not to say anything. We separated the three older boys from the others and asked them what they knew. They wouldn't talk so we separated them. As soon as we did the little birds began to chirp. Dolce was the only one who didn't say anything. Was it to do with his loyalty to his boys or was it more than likely the fact that he doesn't understand any English.
I've seen a lot of interrogations in my time...well on TV anyway. The best tactical approach is as we all know the good cop/ bad cop method. One plays the bad guy, the other plays the friend. I got confused to which one I was so I ended up playing both characters. Being the only person in the room, I must have come across as having split personality syndrome and probably freaked out the orphan in question.
All this and it was only 11am and that meant time to leave for the waterfall. It was a bit of a trek but it was absolutely beautiful when we got there. It's the biggest waterfall in West Africa and it was a sight to behold. We went for a dip in the water and had to walk back first towards the falling water as the spray was so powerful. We slowly hobbled till we were under the fall. It felt like needles falling down on my head. It was the best power shower I have ever had and the closest to being in a Herbal Essence commercial I will ever get.
Glenn, Me and Kwame all moved out of the house to go to the compound. On the way Nunana saw me with my bags and asked "Are you going back to England?" I told him just to the compound. "What would you do if we were leaving" Nunana said "I'd get my bag and follow you".
The compound as I mentioned in a previous post has a bathroom that looks like it's out of Saw. It won't be long till a little puppet fella comes along and plays games with us where you have to chew through your own Achilles tendon or die and even if you do it, he'll have another trick up his sleeve and will kill us anyway. Prick.
Volunteering in Ghana - Day 10
Day 10
Woken up to the sound of crashing rain on the tin roof. This light roof makes light rain sound like heavy rain. Today it sounded like an elephant jogging on the spot above my head. This caused the trip to the waterfall to be canceled which was a shame because we were all looking forward to it after a hard week in the classrooms. I think in a line-up it would be pretty hard to pick out any of the volunteers out of a teacher line-up as the Impostor. The only thing that would give us away is the lack of coffee bean halitosis among us.
It was decided that we would have a movie day as the rain was off an on. As soon as it stopped we would go outside then inevitably the rain would begin again. I noticed that the rain water was much warmer than the even colder than the showers so I thought I'd try and have a rain shower like a true jungle boy. But as I got my Towel and washing things ready and got out to the rain it stopped. Mother nature is a cruel mistress! I decided I would wait for it to rain again so for the rest of the day I was never more than an arms length away from my towel a bit like Mos Def in "The hitchhikers guide to the galaxy" minus the aliens and the galaxy or any kind of hitch hiking.
With the bribery of a movie day the kids really behaved themselves today but it didn't go without a few crying fits. Which really can be annoying when you can't hear a couple of the lines from Finding Nemo. I have come to realise that a crying child or a flock I think that's the correct terminology) of crying children is a bit like when you move into a house that's near a busy road or motorway. At first you can hear nothing but the engines of cars as they speed by, but eventually you won't notice it as much and will be able to hear the birds chirping in the trees. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this but among the cries I eventually could still follow what was happening to poor little Nemo with his little fin.
Woken up to the sound of crashing rain on the tin roof. This light roof makes light rain sound like heavy rain. Today it sounded like an elephant jogging on the spot above my head. This caused the trip to the waterfall to be canceled which was a shame because we were all looking forward to it after a hard week in the classrooms. I think in a line-up it would be pretty hard to pick out any of the volunteers out of a teacher line-up as the Impostor. The only thing that would give us away is the lack of coffee bean halitosis among us.
It was decided that we would have a movie day as the rain was off an on. As soon as it stopped we would go outside then inevitably the rain would begin again. I noticed that the rain water was much warmer than the even colder than the showers so I thought I'd try and have a rain shower like a true jungle boy. But as I got my Towel and washing things ready and got out to the rain it stopped. Mother nature is a cruel mistress! I decided I would wait for it to rain again so for the rest of the day I was never more than an arms length away from my towel a bit like Mos Def in "The hitchhikers guide to the galaxy" minus the aliens and the galaxy or any kind of hitch hiking.
With the bribery of a movie day the kids really behaved themselves today but it didn't go without a few crying fits. Which really can be annoying when you can't hear a couple of the lines from Finding Nemo. I have come to realise that a crying child or a flock I think that's the correct terminology) of crying children is a bit like when you move into a house that's near a busy road or motorway. At first you can hear nothing but the engines of cars as they speed by, but eventually you won't notice it as much and will be able to hear the birds chirping in the trees. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this but among the cries I eventually could still follow what was happening to poor little Nemo with his little fin.
Sunday, 23 October 2011
Volunteering in Ghana - Day 9
Day 9
This morning the children have decided to play up all day. I began to feel bad - maybe I hadn't realised they were deaf orphans - oh wait they're not, they just like us to repeat ourselves again and again. Just in case you didn't know one of my pet peeves is to repeat myself. Even if the most unbelievable thing happened to me, like I don't know - I managed to eat the Big Ernie burger challenge in under 40 minutes meaning a free meal and my picture on the hall of fame - actually who am I kidding, I would tell everyone. The morale of the story is I don't like to repeat myself every 5 minutes it just gets really annoying.
Today was the last day of Sister Claire's but sadly she had left before I had managed to say goodbye. The reason she was even here in Ghana was because of the book Yes Man which changed her life and also began our first topic of conversation as I saw it sticking out of her bag. When she left she wrote everyone a little note which was really sweet. The Jist of mine is that I was entertaining so I was happy with that.
In the Classroom Silv has made great progress with Fred, he seems to be understanding and responding to a few things now, which is excellent work on her part.
The highlight of the day was catching the "Phantom Floater Leaver" as I liked to call him. Let me fill you in quickly. The toilet systems are basic so we have to fill up the system with a bucket before you can flush it through but for a few days now someone keeps leaving a dirty present which when combined with the constant piss smell it becomes quite the gag reflex tester. Anyway on this fine night, I noticed one of the boys naming no names....ahem...Cornelius...took an unusually long time to get a glass of water. All those crime films I've watched paid of as I checked the evidence - it would have been a 9.5 on ratemypoo.com - yes that is a real website and I have no idea how I know about it's existence...it's just one of those things. So I made him flush it. Go me! That was the end of the Phantom floater leaver!
In the evening a few of us went to the local bar which is pretty well hidden in the village. It's like a shack that wouldn't look out of place on a Caribbean island it had such a cool feel about it. They sell bottles of beer and satchets of Captain Gin through a mesh cage. The prices are the best bit, so cheap.
Glenn and I had to go back for urination duty. When we opened the room door, Glenn could only see four shadows " I think we lost one" I turned around and cracked up laughing. Was it the beer? Was it the fear? Or was it our incompetence for looking after children that made us laugh. What would the others say? Turning on the light confirmed we were a child down...It was Nunana. After 10 seconds of looking we found him in the lounge asleep curled up in an armchair - how we didn't see him on the way in, I have no idea. During his duty he was still asleep and fell backwards luckily I managed to catch him. Yau walked across Courage's cross fire and decided to go in the middle of the compound he was so confused that he continued to walk in the wrong direction after so we had to run and get him. All in all an eventful d
Thursday, 13 October 2011
Volunteering in Ghana - Day 8
Day 8
August 11th. My Birthday, Which as everybody knows is you can do what ever you want and get away with it day. Except maybe today. Instead of getting lots of free drinks and gifts, I was treated to being a human trampoline by the orphans.
I mentioned before that it was impossible to tell the days apart, but that's not strictly true. You know it's a new day if smells of musky piss are reaching new levels than were previously known to you or mankind. Now I could sit in a festival portaloo all day without gagging. My tolerance has reached new heights. Whether this is something to be proud of or to brag about I'm still not sure.
Generally after dinner the kids are sent for a afternoon nap, which without fail comes with complaints and crying fits (They still think it's Oscar season but frankly I have seen better acting in a cheap porno). I may be speaking with hindsight here but I would bloody love it if every time I had dinner I was sent for a nap. These orphans don't know how lucky they have it. Seriously, I think that every self respecting restaurant should come with a nap corner facility for diner's to lay their heads down after feasting.
In school today, Cat brought letters written from her students in England and our class wrote replies to them which turned out to be pretty difficult because some of the local kids must have gotten in the classroom at night and taken lots of papers and pens. Adolph, who I thought would bust a cap or at least swing a cane or something, didn't have my back. I think he's annoyed that I haven't been on a walk for a while.
At dinner we had some Thai curry, it was great to have a break from the rice and stew. We have pretty much lived as vegetarians the entire time. It's not too bad actually. After dinner there was balloons and streamers and the kids and volunteers sang happy birthday to me which was lovely and then they sing "How old are you now?" to which I had to sing a reply. It was a good day but crashed out early as school and urnination duty is really taking its toll.
August 11th. My Birthday, Which as everybody knows is you can do what ever you want and get away with it day. Except maybe today. Instead of getting lots of free drinks and gifts, I was treated to being a human trampoline by the orphans.
I mentioned before that it was impossible to tell the days apart, but that's not strictly true. You know it's a new day if smells of musky piss are reaching new levels than were previously known to you or mankind. Now I could sit in a festival portaloo all day without gagging. My tolerance has reached new heights. Whether this is something to be proud of or to brag about I'm still not sure.
Generally after dinner the kids are sent for a afternoon nap, which without fail comes with complaints and crying fits (They still think it's Oscar season but frankly I have seen better acting in a cheap porno). I may be speaking with hindsight here but I would bloody love it if every time I had dinner I was sent for a nap. These orphans don't know how lucky they have it. Seriously, I think that every self respecting restaurant should come with a nap corner facility for diner's to lay their heads down after feasting.
In school today, Cat brought letters written from her students in England and our class wrote replies to them which turned out to be pretty difficult because some of the local kids must have gotten in the classroom at night and taken lots of papers and pens. Adolph, who I thought would bust a cap or at least swing a cane or something, didn't have my back. I think he's annoyed that I haven't been on a walk for a while.
At dinner we had some Thai curry, it was great to have a break from the rice and stew. We have pretty much lived as vegetarians the entire time. It's not too bad actually. After dinner there was balloons and streamers and the kids and volunteers sang happy birthday to me which was lovely and then they sing "How old are you now?" to which I had to sing a reply. It was a good day but crashed out early as school and urnination duty is really taking its toll.
Thursday, 29 September 2011
Volunteering in Ghana - Day 7
Day 7
The days are seeming to roll into one. Set in routine, it's hard to differentiate one day from the next. I'm not sure if it's my upper lip that smells of piss or whether the children have managed to mark every knook and cranny with their muscky stench.
The kids are incredibly tiring and they all can be really naughty but they all have a sweet side to them which makes the naughty things they've done easily forgotten.
Class went really well today. It was surprising to see that Ghanian children are on par with Americans - They don't have a clue where they live either. Not one out of 44 children could point to where Ghana is on the map of Africa. They know now. We also taught them a little bit about England in our hood classroom. Adolph again wanted to go for a 'walk' but because of that glorious rota I was on dinner duty with Beth and we were making yam chips and they take forever - thank God.
We spent the evening like most others, watching films with the kids and then by ourselves after we put them to sleep, When I say put them to sleep I don't mean like how they do it at the vets with dogs. It's nice to have a little break from them because we aren't treated like climbing frames or asked the same question about food every 5 minutes.
URINATION UPDATE - In the night an outsider came in and flooded the mattress in the girls room. By outsider I mean one of the older boys and by girls room I mean it happened in the girls room. So that means the boys, me and Glennda have taken a 2-1 lead!
Day 8 coming soon...
The days are seeming to roll into one. Set in routine, it's hard to differentiate one day from the next. I'm not sure if it's my upper lip that smells of piss or whether the children have managed to mark every knook and cranny with their muscky stench.
The kids are incredibly tiring and they all can be really naughty but they all have a sweet side to them which makes the naughty things they've done easily forgotten.
Class went really well today. It was surprising to see that Ghanian children are on par with Americans - They don't have a clue where they live either. Not one out of 44 children could point to where Ghana is on the map of Africa. They know now. We also taught them a little bit about England in our hood classroom. Adolph again wanted to go for a 'walk' but because of that glorious rota I was on dinner duty with Beth and we were making yam chips and they take forever - thank God.
We spent the evening like most others, watching films with the kids and then by ourselves after we put them to sleep, When I say put them to sleep I don't mean like how they do it at the vets with dogs. It's nice to have a little break from them because we aren't treated like climbing frames or asked the same question about food every 5 minutes.
URINATION UPDATE - In the night an outsider came in and flooded the mattress in the girls room. By outsider I mean one of the older boys and by girls room I mean it happened in the girls room. So that means the boys, me and Glennda have taken a 2-1 lead!
Day 8 coming soon...
Wednesday, 21 September 2011
Volunteering in Ghana - Day 6
Day 6
The urination competition turned in our favour as in the night the girls lost a point due to a matt pee. Not as bad as a bed pee but after all the comments from them we rubbed it in their faces a bit...I'm not talking about the pee, that would be a bit disgusting wouldn't it. We gladly claimed the pee point so as it stands on the scoreboard it's Boys 1 - 1 Girls.
The kids today must think it's Oscar season, as they are really pulling the tears out the bag. We also seem to have claimed a new kid called Harrison. I don't know how he got here but he's smart.
Today was Bethan's birthday. In the morning we went into town in 2 groups, while the other group looked after the kids. Adolph popped by and asked if I wanted to go for a walk but I couldn't as I was looking after the kids...luckily. I managed to access the internet for the first time since being in Ghana and it was like using dial up in the 90's, it took about ten minutes to check one email and it was nothing to do with me being a slow reader. I felt like slapping the internet man for allowing me to pay for that.
School was incredibly tiring and it is difficult to keep the whole class engaged as they are at different levels of ability. The classroom is like a sweat shop, not that we make the kids sew footballs, just that I imagine a sweatshop would be as hot and sweaty as our classroom. We had a couple of kids in our class that really struggled on one we suspected had learning difficulties. Silv spent a lot of time with him today and seemed to make some good progress by the end of the lesson. After class Adolph appeared again but I was on bathing duty with Silv and again we had a lot of tears, but me and Silv managed to get the little trouble makers clean.
In the evening we celebrated Beth's birthday with a Ghanian drink called Cardinal, it's like a strawberry schnapps. We all crashed out early in front of the Lion king. Exhaustion really is setting in early everyday and I find myself using my housemate Reuben's catchphrase "What you trying it for?!" which really seems to puzzle the kids. They never seem to be satisfied even after massive bowls of food. The "I want some more" is becoming more than an Oliver Twist cliche. A vasectomy is seeming like a real safe bet right now.
The urination competition turned in our favour as in the night the girls lost a point due to a matt pee. Not as bad as a bed pee but after all the comments from them we rubbed it in their faces a bit...I'm not talking about the pee, that would be a bit disgusting wouldn't it. We gladly claimed the pee point so as it stands on the scoreboard it's Boys 1 - 1 Girls.
The kids today must think it's Oscar season, as they are really pulling the tears out the bag. We also seem to have claimed a new kid called Harrison. I don't know how he got here but he's smart.
Today was Bethan's birthday. In the morning we went into town in 2 groups, while the other group looked after the kids. Adolph popped by and asked if I wanted to go for a walk but I couldn't as I was looking after the kids...luckily. I managed to access the internet for the first time since being in Ghana and it was like using dial up in the 90's, it took about ten minutes to check one email and it was nothing to do with me being a slow reader. I felt like slapping the internet man for allowing me to pay for that.
School was incredibly tiring and it is difficult to keep the whole class engaged as they are at different levels of ability. The classroom is like a sweat shop, not that we make the kids sew footballs, just that I imagine a sweatshop would be as hot and sweaty as our classroom. We had a couple of kids in our class that really struggled on one we suspected had learning difficulties. Silv spent a lot of time with him today and seemed to make some good progress by the end of the lesson. After class Adolph appeared again but I was on bathing duty with Silv and again we had a lot of tears, but me and Silv managed to get the little trouble makers clean.
In the evening we celebrated Beth's birthday with a Ghanian drink called Cardinal, it's like a strawberry schnapps. We all crashed out early in front of the Lion king. Exhaustion really is setting in early everyday and I find myself using my housemate Reuben's catchphrase "What you trying it for?!" which really seems to puzzle the kids. They never seem to be satisfied even after massive bowls of food. The "I want some more" is becoming more than an Oliver Twist cliche. A vasectomy is seeming like a real safe bet right now.
Wednesday, 14 September 2011
Johnny G volunteering in Ghana - Day 5 (The return of Adolph)
Day 5 - The return of Adolph
This morning I sponged down an orphan or two, not really my cup of tea but it was an experience. I'm beginning to understand what it would be like to be a parent. I learned that the only peace you get is when your asleep and whatever you do don't feed them candy. They go crazy.
Today was going to be the first day of the summer school. As we walked through the village, lots of the local children from the village would run up to us to say they are coming to class later. It was nice to see how much they wanted to learn. In the morning we tutored our group with some exercises and discovered some of the kids couldn't read or write. Even Yao who seemed to be able to read me a book couldn't read words and I realised he had memorised the book, when I read it to him and then he read it back to me from memory.
We had a bunch of t-shirts made up for the summer school, with our names on the back and Raising Hope Foundation on the front which we pre-ordered before. What I hadn't looked at was the sizes and just went with a medium and Glenn did the same ordering the small. The measurements were in girls sizes. So, what we ended up with is the most super tight t-shirts in the world. The only thing I was grateful for is that I didn't have to look at it.
The summer school attracted about 150 children from the 3 local villages of Santrokofi. I was in class 3 with; sister Cat, sister Dani, sister Zoe and sister Silvs and it was an enjoyable experience. Sister Cat has a way of controlling the children which is amazing, they know not to get on the wrong side of her but they can still have fun. There were some really smart children in our group and others that struggled so it will be a challenge to keep them all entertained. Overall everyone did really well and it wasn't as daunting as I first thought it would be.
The co-ordinator/ chief of the village was called Adolph. Adolph is of no resemblance to the German Adolf. He made that clear and told us it's Adolph with a p. Anyway, he wanted to show me and Glenn around the village. When he spoke it was difficult to understand him and struggled to catch one or two words per sentence. Then had to a quick brain scan of those words till it made sense enough to reply to what at least I thought he was saying. His voice boomed and rattled around in the back of your head at the same time. He told us about when a German friend of his wife visited Ghana and he had prepared cat for dinner. She ran and left Ghana the next day. I think that's what he said. Anyway he laughed and me and Glenn not sure what to do also joined in the laughter. Then I wondered is he know going to make us eat a cat.
Often when he said something me and Glenn would just laugh and look at each other. With out any other communication between Glenn I knew he was feeling how I felt: Scared about where he was taking us and also because we didn't have a clue about what the hell he was talking about. He told us that we he can get us any woman in the village we wanted and kept offering to give us condoms. Again we cracked up laughing thinking it was a joke, but he was actually deadly serious and kept asking us several times.
Adolph introduced us to pretty much everyone in the village. They all seemed to want to meet us and were very nice. Baring in mind we did all this without managing to get home to change out of our super tight bright yellow t-shirts with Glennda and Johnny written on our backs. He gave us loads of different foods to sample and he also introduced us to a local liquor called abatassi. After you drink it you feel like there is a stream of fire from your mouth to your stomach, if only for a couple of moments. I swore I would never do another one again...we got another one for the road, which turned into two for the road. I was able to hear even less of what he said by this point. Me and Glennda, as per what was written on the back of his shirt really didn't want to offend his hospitality obliged.
We were paraded around some more and met some new people. We met one guy who was holding a machete, not uncommon in Ghana as a lot of Ghanian's farm to make a living. Adolph, again not to be confused with Adolf, told us that if we misbehaved that this man would cut our heads off and send them to the Queen, before he burst out laughing. Me and Glenn laughed along like idiots, as became the standard procedure.
He took us back to sister Kinza. He then asked me to show him out, which actually meant going to a bar with him for some more shots before eating some food which I'm pretty sure was cat...And yes it does taste a bit like chicken. A poor mans chicken. actually...probably a bit worse than Fried pigeon. On the way he started to hold my hand. Which I had a feeling was an African tradition, as I saw young boys holding hands while walking, but I couldn't help wonder where this next tour was going. I couldn't wait to be free of his sand papery grasp. I was hoping for some hand sweat so I could slip the hell out of there. I'm pretty sure he was just being friendly, although you can't be too careful in this day and age. By the 5th or 6th shot I really couldn't hear what he was saying until he shouted "Dance" at me. His intense eyes staring at me and I found myself doing some kind of African dance and some of the locals joined in but Adolph shouted "only Johnny can dance with me" and I was thinking to myself "I'm going to end up his bitch and there's nothing I can do". Tempted to run, but I continued to dance. He then said "I must take you back to sister Kinza" And I was free for that day. He said he would be round tomorrow for another "walk". Oh Jesus! I think he got the wrong impression from my tight t-shirt!
Back at the house we talked about how the day and lessons went. There's a really nice atmosphere when we can all just relax at the end of the day. Although I couldn't help to wonder what kind of hooker, drug and alcohol adventure that Adolph had in store for me next.
Day 6 coming soon.
This morning I sponged down an orphan or two, not really my cup of tea but it was an experience. I'm beginning to understand what it would be like to be a parent. I learned that the only peace you get is when your asleep and whatever you do don't feed them candy. They go crazy.
Today was going to be the first day of the summer school. As we walked through the village, lots of the local children from the village would run up to us to say they are coming to class later. It was nice to see how much they wanted to learn. In the morning we tutored our group with some exercises and discovered some of the kids couldn't read or write. Even Yao who seemed to be able to read me a book couldn't read words and I realised he had memorised the book, when I read it to him and then he read it back to me from memory.
We had a bunch of t-shirts made up for the summer school, with our names on the back and Raising Hope Foundation on the front which we pre-ordered before. What I hadn't looked at was the sizes and just went with a medium and Glenn did the same ordering the small. The measurements were in girls sizes. So, what we ended up with is the most super tight t-shirts in the world. The only thing I was grateful for is that I didn't have to look at it.
The summer school attracted about 150 children from the 3 local villages of Santrokofi. I was in class 3 with; sister Cat, sister Dani, sister Zoe and sister Silvs and it was an enjoyable experience. Sister Cat has a way of controlling the children which is amazing, they know not to get on the wrong side of her but they can still have fun. There were some really smart children in our group and others that struggled so it will be a challenge to keep them all entertained. Overall everyone did really well and it wasn't as daunting as I first thought it would be.
The co-ordinator/ chief of the village was called Adolph. Adolph is of no resemblance to the German Adolf. He made that clear and told us it's Adolph with a p. Anyway, he wanted to show me and Glenn around the village. When he spoke it was difficult to understand him and struggled to catch one or two words per sentence. Then had to a quick brain scan of those words till it made sense enough to reply to what at least I thought he was saying. His voice boomed and rattled around in the back of your head at the same time. He told us about when a German friend of his wife visited Ghana and he had prepared cat for dinner. She ran and left Ghana the next day. I think that's what he said. Anyway he laughed and me and Glenn not sure what to do also joined in the laughter. Then I wondered is he know going to make us eat a cat.
Often when he said something me and Glenn would just laugh and look at each other. With out any other communication between Glenn I knew he was feeling how I felt: Scared about where he was taking us and also because we didn't have a clue about what the hell he was talking about. He told us that we he can get us any woman in the village we wanted and kept offering to give us condoms. Again we cracked up laughing thinking it was a joke, but he was actually deadly serious and kept asking us several times.
Adolph introduced us to pretty much everyone in the village. They all seemed to want to meet us and were very nice. Baring in mind we did all this without managing to get home to change out of our super tight bright yellow t-shirts with Glennda and Johnny written on our backs. He gave us loads of different foods to sample and he also introduced us to a local liquor called abatassi. After you drink it you feel like there is a stream of fire from your mouth to your stomach, if only for a couple of moments. I swore I would never do another one again...we got another one for the road, which turned into two for the road. I was able to hear even less of what he said by this point. Me and Glennda, as per what was written on the back of his shirt really didn't want to offend his hospitality obliged.
We were paraded around some more and met some new people. We met one guy who was holding a machete, not uncommon in Ghana as a lot of Ghanian's farm to make a living. Adolph, again not to be confused with Adolf, told us that if we misbehaved that this man would cut our heads off and send them to the Queen, before he burst out laughing. Me and Glenn laughed along like idiots, as became the standard procedure.
He took us back to sister Kinza. He then asked me to show him out, which actually meant going to a bar with him for some more shots before eating some food which I'm pretty sure was cat...And yes it does taste a bit like chicken. A poor mans chicken. actually...probably a bit worse than Fried pigeon. On the way he started to hold my hand. Which I had a feeling was an African tradition, as I saw young boys holding hands while walking, but I couldn't help wonder where this next tour was going. I couldn't wait to be free of his sand papery grasp. I was hoping for some hand sweat so I could slip the hell out of there. I'm pretty sure he was just being friendly, although you can't be too careful in this day and age. By the 5th or 6th shot I really couldn't hear what he was saying until he shouted "Dance" at me. His intense eyes staring at me and I found myself doing some kind of African dance and some of the locals joined in but Adolph shouted "only Johnny can dance with me" and I was thinking to myself "I'm going to end up his bitch and there's nothing I can do". Tempted to run, but I continued to dance. He then said "I must take you back to sister Kinza" And I was free for that day. He said he would be round tomorrow for another "walk". Oh Jesus! I think he got the wrong impression from my tight t-shirt!
Back at the house we talked about how the day and lessons went. There's a really nice atmosphere when we can all just relax at the end of the day. Although I couldn't help to wonder what kind of hooker, drug and alcohol adventure that Adolph had in store for me next.
Day 6 coming soon.
Monday, 12 September 2011
Johnny G volunteering in Ghana - day 4
Day 4
I'm no longer constrained by the hands of time. After the routine struggle of getting the children to do anything, we took them to a monkey sanctuary. Which of course means a luxury cruise in a Tro Tro. Except this driver was like a normal tro tro driver, who had been on a red bull binge combined with having some sort of obsessive compulsive disorder, which seemed to mean if he didn't beep the horn every millisecond he would spontaneously combust into flames. I wish he had.
We took the kids to the monkey sanctuary and fed them bananas...fed the monkeys bananas, I mean. Everyone enjoyed it as the monkeys peeled bananas from our hands. The guide was pretty darn good and making monkey noises with his mouth. I have no idea what he was saying though.
That afternoon to evening the puppies left destruction in their path, eating everything in sight. Then the crying fits started. It was hard not to feel sorry for them, but then I remembered they ate all the food, Including my food. And people who know me know how I love my food. They really took the biscuit...or my biscuit as it turned out.
Glenn and I (look at that English) were on urination duty that night which means having all of the pee pants in our room and our job is to wake them in the night to make sure they don't live up to their name. Glenn fell asleep on the sofa at about 11. I gently woke him up saying "urination time" Which is what we say to the little ones. Glenn must have been in a very deep sleep because he had no idea where he was as I led him out onto the porch. He looked at me with the same glint in his eye as the kids like "why you making me do this". It took him a good minute to realise what was happening. He was so confused. Poor Glenn.
By the morning we had failed our first urination duty. Courage wet the bed, not just any bed, but our bed. Glenn and I ended up sleeping in the lounge. Beth keeps going on about this little mishap especially because we didn't change him into clean clothes. But as I told Beth, defending our lack of actions, he might be confused into believing that if he pees himself then that means he gets a new wardrobe. So I still think it was right to let him wallow in self pitty...or pissy. Sorry Beth.
I'm no longer constrained by the hands of time. After the routine struggle of getting the children to do anything, we took them to a monkey sanctuary. Which of course means a luxury cruise in a Tro Tro. Except this driver was like a normal tro tro driver, who had been on a red bull binge combined with having some sort of obsessive compulsive disorder, which seemed to mean if he didn't beep the horn every millisecond he would spontaneously combust into flames. I wish he had.
We took the kids to the monkey sanctuary and fed them bananas...fed the monkeys bananas, I mean. Everyone enjoyed it as the monkeys peeled bananas from our hands. The guide was pretty darn good and making monkey noises with his mouth. I have no idea what he was saying though.
That afternoon to evening the puppies left destruction in their path, eating everything in sight. Then the crying fits started. It was hard not to feel sorry for them, but then I remembered they ate all the food, Including my food. And people who know me know how I love my food. They really took the biscuit...or my biscuit as it turned out.
Glenn and I (look at that English) were on urination duty that night which means having all of the pee pants in our room and our job is to wake them in the night to make sure they don't live up to their name. Glenn fell asleep on the sofa at about 11. I gently woke him up saying "urination time" Which is what we say to the little ones. Glenn must have been in a very deep sleep because he had no idea where he was as I led him out onto the porch. He looked at me with the same glint in his eye as the kids like "why you making me do this". It took him a good minute to realise what was happening. He was so confused. Poor Glenn.
By the morning we had failed our first urination duty. Courage wet the bed, not just any bed, but our bed. Glenn and I ended up sleeping in the lounge. Beth keeps going on about this little mishap especially because we didn't change him into clean clothes. But as I told Beth, defending our lack of actions, he might be confused into believing that if he pees himself then that means he gets a new wardrobe. So I still think it was right to let him wallow in self pitty...or pissy. Sorry Beth.
Saturday, 10 September 2011
Volunteering in Ghana - Day three and Johnny's observations
Day 3
It was an eventful evening to say the least. Me, Glenn and Kwame were locked out of the room by two of the orphans, Dolce and Cornelius. They straight up outsmarted us, playing a joke but falling asleep. The worst thing about it was that I made a joke about it happening and didn't have the sense to get the keys out of the room. Kwame and Kinza went around the outside of the house to flash a torch into the room. The windows are like mesh with slats of glass. As we were knocking the door like police at a crack den bust, we heard Kwame shouting from outside into the lounge. I walked in there to see him shining a light in there. I told him he had the wrong room and the boys were in the room next door. He went next door...but to the wrong next door, the next door being the girls room. Eventually ending up at the right room and waking them up. It took about 20 minutes before we could get into our room to sleep.
We spent all day playing, reading to, and looking after the kids. I found out that a group of orphans is like a swarm of locusts - nothing is left after they pass through. Instead of stomachs they have bottomless pits. They can eat and eat and then out come the puppy dog eyes like they haven't been eating. Do not be fooled by those adverts you see on tv!
I also found that Kwame is an awesome artist and he has been sketching in my diary for me. I will try and scan some of his works for you to see. But you can check out some of his paintings here.
The only time we left the village today was to go to the market in a borrowed car from Emile, the builder. The local kids will often come up to you and demand money. A small kid no bigger than my knees said " You give me 1,000" which in the old money is about 10 peswas which is about 2p. Still, I didn't like his attitude. So I replied "No, you give me, 1,000" and so it went on in a loop until finally he left. On the way to the market we hit a pothole pretty hard and one of the hubcaps went flying, We don't know if Emile ever knew about it. He probably does now.
Johnny's Observations
1) The water is undrinkable and the sewerage is poor, but every man an their dog seems to have a mobile phone with internet access.
2) When riding in a Tro Tro - if your head is not hurting from the drivers inability to not beep the horn every 5 seconds, it will be hurting from the amount of times you smack it against the side of the van.
3) They bloody love a plastic bag. Everything comes in one. It wouldn't surprise me if the hospitals put the newborn babies in them (with air holes of course) so the parents can carry them home.
Thursday, 8 September 2011
Volunteering in Ghana - Day 2
Day 2
After the first night in Africa it didn't feel much different to England. At breakfast, which consisted of a slice of sweet bread and a cup of black coffee (the milk was yellow and if you go by the motto of don't eat yellow snow, it's best to leave that yellow milk in the jug). Glenn, Silv, Hellie and I spoke about the first night in Africa and how it wasn't so bad although their fan didn't work and their bed was half the size of ours. Silv asked us if she had kept me and Glenn up with her cough. We joked "sorry we couldn't hear anything, the fan keeping us cool was too loud" which to be honest is a line we repeated more than once. But we thought it was hilarious even if no one else did.
Out the window we could see Ghanian life. Beeping horns, red soil, markets selling bread, and impressive amounts of things being balanced on ladies heads.
There is no hot water so showering seemed like a chore. There is no pressure either. I felt bad for complaining about not having a power shower at uni.
When we walked outside, it was like stepping inside a photograph out of a National Geographic magazine. Everyone we walked past would stare, wave, or try to sell us something. Beth and Danielle walked us to the Living Faith Orphanage which is run by Auntie Agnes aided by the help of a few others and charities such as Raising Hope Foundation, who I was with. There's also a school there so the kids can get an education. We also met the other volunteers; Helen, Claire, Zoe and Cat.
Here we met the twelve children that would be coming with us to Santrokofi to live and attend summer school with us. Their names where: Theresa, Courage, Cornelius, Kwame, Mila, Prosper, Nunana, Sharita, Yao, Dolce, Believe, Angela. So all eleven children plus twelve volunteers plus big Kwame and sister patience had to fit in one tro tro along with everyones luggage. After a game of human and luggage tetris we were all in and ready to go. It was a tight squeeze to say the least. How I longed for the spacious TAP Portugal economy seats, that I complained about on the first day. The journey took most of the day, full of; being wedged in sideways, a stray bag hitting me in the back of the head every bump in the road we hit, and one Nunana bouncing around on my knee, all that adds up to one numb bum, and we finally reached our destination of Santrokofi a town made up of three villages.
We were given two buildings in two different compounds for the orphans and volunteers to stay in. One of them was lovely inside and the other looked like something out of saw and I would rather cut off my foot then stay in there. Luckily for the first week, me, Kwame and Glenn would be sleeping in the nice house. Where there is a massive fan to keep the room cold, so there is no need to put the mosquito nets up, mainly because it would get hacked up by the fan, but also because there isn't many mosquitos in the house. It's actually about 10 times nicer than my house at uni so living in an African village is a step up for me.
Day 3 coming soon...
After the first night in Africa it didn't feel much different to England. At breakfast, which consisted of a slice of sweet bread and a cup of black coffee (the milk was yellow and if you go by the motto of don't eat yellow snow, it's best to leave that yellow milk in the jug). Glenn, Silv, Hellie and I spoke about the first night in Africa and how it wasn't so bad although their fan didn't work and their bed was half the size of ours. Silv asked us if she had kept me and Glenn up with her cough. We joked "sorry we couldn't hear anything, the fan keeping us cool was too loud" which to be honest is a line we repeated more than once. But we thought it was hilarious even if no one else did.
Out the window we could see Ghanian life. Beeping horns, red soil, markets selling bread, and impressive amounts of things being balanced on ladies heads.
There is no hot water so showering seemed like a chore. There is no pressure either. I felt bad for complaining about not having a power shower at uni.
When we walked outside, it was like stepping inside a photograph out of a National Geographic magazine. Everyone we walked past would stare, wave, or try to sell us something. Beth and Danielle walked us to the Living Faith Orphanage which is run by Auntie Agnes aided by the help of a few others and charities such as Raising Hope Foundation, who I was with. There's also a school there so the kids can get an education. We also met the other volunteers; Helen, Claire, Zoe and Cat.
Here we met the twelve children that would be coming with us to Santrokofi to live and attend summer school with us. Their names where: Theresa, Courage, Cornelius, Kwame, Mila, Prosper, Nunana, Sharita, Yao, Dolce, Believe, Angela. So all eleven children plus twelve volunteers plus big Kwame and sister patience had to fit in one tro tro along with everyones luggage. After a game of human and luggage tetris we were all in and ready to go. It was a tight squeeze to say the least. How I longed for the spacious TAP Portugal economy seats, that I complained about on the first day. The journey took most of the day, full of; being wedged in sideways, a stray bag hitting me in the back of the head every bump in the road we hit, and one Nunana bouncing around on my knee, all that adds up to one numb bum, and we finally reached our destination of Santrokofi a town made up of three villages.
We were given two buildings in two different compounds for the orphans and volunteers to stay in. One of them was lovely inside and the other looked like something out of saw and I would rather cut off my foot then stay in there. Luckily for the first week, me, Kwame and Glenn would be sleeping in the nice house. Where there is a massive fan to keep the room cold, so there is no need to put the mosquito nets up, mainly because it would get hacked up by the fan, but also because there isn't many mosquitos in the house. It's actually about 10 times nicer than my house at uni so living in an African village is a step up for me.
Day 3 coming soon...
Wednesday, 7 September 2011
Volunteering in Ghana - Day 1
Intro
How I came to be involved with volunteering was through my friend Beth who helps run the Raising Hope Foundation charity with Kinza and a few other wonderful people. They run summer camps, help out at orphanages, as well as sponsoring Ghanians through education and currently they are building an orphanage along with its own farm land.
Day 1
Having spent most of the night trying to cram all of my things into my rucksack, waking up was a struggle. The snooze button once again became my best friend. On the way to the airport with my mum and the reality of where I was going and what I was going still had not sunk in, and I don't think it truly did till we touched down on that red African soil.
At Heathrow I met Glenn, who I hadn't seen since my failed attempt at eating the biggest burger I've ever seen in 40 minutes. I also was reunited with Hellie, who I hadn't seen since our last la crew reunion and met Silv for the first time. Likewise they felt the same as me. There was an air of uncertainty in the atmosphere.
On the plane to lisbon we sat on the backrow. The legroom wasn't enough, but when is it? And the meal...don't get me started, although I ate it anyway. When we arrived at Lisbon we had 40 minutes to get to our connecting flight. We walked for what seemed forever, showed our passports, had our bags scanned again, had visions of an oasis before we eventually reached the gate for Accra. The gate turned out to be the same one we landed at. So really they made us walk in a massive circle, when really we could have stayed on the same plane. I'm looking at you TAP Portugal.
On the second flight to Accra, I was sat next to two Ghanian's: Friday and Desmond. Both were very nice and now lived in the UK and were visiting. They asked me if someone was meeting me at the airport to which I said "Yes". They said "That's good, that's good". It turns out that armed robbery is quite common at night so you have to be careful where you tread.
We arrived at the airport 2 hours late. I'm looking at you TAP Portugal! Beth, Danielle, Kinza and Dani were there waiting for us. Kinza picked us up some water. We were expecting bottles but we were introduced to Ghanian filtered water which comes in plastic pouches. They make good water balloons. Ghana did not present the scorching sun I was expecting but instead we were welcomed with that all too familiar rain.
We also had our first experience of transport in Ghana. For us we had hired a "Tro Tro" which is pretty much a narrow people carrier filled with too many rows of seats. We also me Kwame, who helps out at the orphanage and he helped us to load our bags into the Tro.
We speeded out of the city, barely able to take in any of the landscape through the condensation on the windows. The driving is fast, all over the road, dangerous, and as far as I could tell there doesn't seem to be a highway code. How my boxers remained clean, I have no idea.
as we got further out of the city we passed huts, which looked like they had been made out of old shipping containers. A familiar logo kept popping up and that logo was Vodafone, which surprised me seeing how much they charge for roaming in Ghana. But seriously, almost every other wooden, or container hut was red and rocked the vodafone symbol. This seemed to be the case in every village we passed through.
Along the roads armed police stop cars at checkpoints to see where they are going. It was interesting to be in a tro tro full of white people and to be considered suspicious. A shining light pierced my eyes as the policeman scoped out our faces and asked the driver questions. I was too busy looking at his gun to hear what was said. I heard rumours that in Africa it's not uncommon to bribe police for them to turn a blind eye. In this case no bribe change hands and we were allowed on our way. It became a routine as we were stopped, blinded by light and then allowed to continue on the road. When I say road, I really mean dirt track covered in potholes.
We arrived in Sogakope at around 2 am at a youth hostel. I was surprised to see a massive flatscreen on the wall and a double bed with a fan about it keeping us cool through the night. Which was nice.
Click Day 2
How I came to be involved with volunteering was through my friend Beth who helps run the Raising Hope Foundation charity with Kinza and a few other wonderful people. They run summer camps, help out at orphanages, as well as sponsoring Ghanians through education and currently they are building an orphanage along with its own farm land.
Day 1
Having spent most of the night trying to cram all of my things into my rucksack, waking up was a struggle. The snooze button once again became my best friend. On the way to the airport with my mum and the reality of where I was going and what I was going still had not sunk in, and I don't think it truly did till we touched down on that red African soil.
At Heathrow I met Glenn, who I hadn't seen since my failed attempt at eating the biggest burger I've ever seen in 40 minutes. I also was reunited with Hellie, who I hadn't seen since our last la crew reunion and met Silv for the first time. Likewise they felt the same as me. There was an air of uncertainty in the atmosphere.
On the plane to lisbon we sat on the backrow. The legroom wasn't enough, but when is it? And the meal...don't get me started, although I ate it anyway. When we arrived at Lisbon we had 40 minutes to get to our connecting flight. We walked for what seemed forever, showed our passports, had our bags scanned again, had visions of an oasis before we eventually reached the gate for Accra. The gate turned out to be the same one we landed at. So really they made us walk in a massive circle, when really we could have stayed on the same plane. I'm looking at you TAP Portugal.
On the second flight to Accra, I was sat next to two Ghanian's: Friday and Desmond. Both were very nice and now lived in the UK and were visiting. They asked me if someone was meeting me at the airport to which I said "Yes". They said "That's good, that's good". It turns out that armed robbery is quite common at night so you have to be careful where you tread.
We arrived at the airport 2 hours late. I'm looking at you TAP Portugal! Beth, Danielle, Kinza and Dani were there waiting for us. Kinza picked us up some water. We were expecting bottles but we were introduced to Ghanian filtered water which comes in plastic pouches. They make good water balloons. Ghana did not present the scorching sun I was expecting but instead we were welcomed with that all too familiar rain.
We also had our first experience of transport in Ghana. For us we had hired a "Tro Tro" which is pretty much a narrow people carrier filled with too many rows of seats. We also me Kwame, who helps out at the orphanage and he helped us to load our bags into the Tro.
We speeded out of the city, barely able to take in any of the landscape through the condensation on the windows. The driving is fast, all over the road, dangerous, and as far as I could tell there doesn't seem to be a highway code. How my boxers remained clean, I have no idea.
as we got further out of the city we passed huts, which looked like they had been made out of old shipping containers. A familiar logo kept popping up and that logo was Vodafone, which surprised me seeing how much they charge for roaming in Ghana. But seriously, almost every other wooden, or container hut was red and rocked the vodafone symbol. This seemed to be the case in every village we passed through.
Along the roads armed police stop cars at checkpoints to see where they are going. It was interesting to be in a tro tro full of white people and to be considered suspicious. A shining light pierced my eyes as the policeman scoped out our faces and asked the driver questions. I was too busy looking at his gun to hear what was said. I heard rumours that in Africa it's not uncommon to bribe police for them to turn a blind eye. In this case no bribe change hands and we were allowed on our way. It became a routine as we were stopped, blinded by light and then allowed to continue on the road. When I say road, I really mean dirt track covered in potholes.
We arrived in Sogakope at around 2 am at a youth hostel. I was surprised to see a massive flatscreen on the wall and a double bed with a fan about it keeping us cool through the night. Which was nice.
Click Day 2
Tuesday, 6 September 2011
An apology and the rest of Dublin
As seems to be the protocol of my blog, I need to start with an apology for the lack of blogging again. I'm beginning to feel like a divorced parent who gets the kids on an occasional weekend always promising to take them to a football game the next time and I just keep letting them down and then they grow up to have issues. So not wanting you guys to grow up to have issues (if you already have issues I'm in no way responsible), we will go to the football game and it will be on the regular. By football game...I of course mean, I will write my blog more often and give you that brain candy you severely deserve.
Okay, so it has been an incredible summer for me and has flown by at 100mph. I've met so many great people, made some wonderful friends, had some amazing experiences, and laughs have been coming by the thousands. Can't ask for more. I will firstly finish the tale of Dublin as I left it on a cliffhanger leaving you all warmed up.
So Day Two. The Guinness brewery and Sam's birthday. Probably one of the coolest places in the world, where everyone pretends to be interested in all the information about the history of Guinness as they're secretly searching for the place to cash in the drink token. I was no exception. Although near the entrance there is a massive pit full of barley. Whenever someone in the group thinks up an idea that would be funny but no one with at least a couple of brain cells would even think about doing, all eyes end on me. In this case they thought it would be funny for someone to jump into the pit of barley. But I didn't really want to be that guy today, there was too many people around and if I got kicked out before I managed to cash in my token, I would have been pissed.
At the end of the tour we learned how to pour the perfect pint of Guinness and received a certificate praising us for these skills. I think you know this qualification appears on my CV right next to the 50 metre swimming badge. At the top of the brewery there is a bar with glass windows that overlooks the city of Dublin. It's quite a sight to behold. We spoke to the bar staff and told them it was Sam's birthday and then the bar manager made an announcement on the microphone about it. Everyone in the bar stopped to watch as she began singing happy birthday and most people joined in. After that, a few more people came up to her and telling her it was their birthday's. If you know Luke then you know he has a pair of lungs on him and his voice can reach pretty amazing levels, enough for everyone to stop to look at him as he sings. People then kept coming over and giving us their unwanted Guinness tokens - luke got most of them. An American woman called patty came over to us thinking that we were a choir. She wanted her daughter to meet "the choir boys". It turned out that her daughter, Shannon had just got divorced and along with her sister Maggie and her new husband Harry they were in Dublin celebrating the divorce. We were invited to the table and there we drank with them the rest of the day. Mainly we got free drinks but sometimes we had to go to the cash bar to buy drinks at a low rate of 4 euro 40. On the way to the bar me and miles saw a man being filmed as he poured a pint and spoke to the camera. It was the guy that is in all of the videos as you walk around the brewery - I can't remember his name. Anyway he gave us the beers he had poured and we ended up being on camera tasting them. Whether the footage was used I have no idea.
The average time spent in the bar in the Guinness brewery bar is around 40 minutes. We were there for about 6 hours and it was dark by the time we left. On the way to the exit there was of course the pit of barley. We were all by this stage pretty much two Guinesses (not sure what the plural of Guinness is?) from hitting the floor, so we ran and jumped into the barley mound and did what I like to think was the worlds first mass Barley angel attempt - A joint American and UK attempt. I know there is a photo of it somewhere or at least some cctv footage kicking about, so if yes, please send it to me so I can post it on here.
We got back to the trusty old travel lodge in the eastern block, that we were calling home for the few days. For some reason, not naming names, but he knows who he is, we'll call him, I don't know, Mr. "I'm going to have a shower but before that I'm going to drink Gin butt naked for three hours", for now. And that's exactly what he did. Not content with burning mine and Luke's retinas, as we tried to get ready for a night out, he thought it would be hilarious to teabag a Gin and tonic that was closest to him, only it turned out to be his gin and tonic. The look on his face was amazing! If you don't know what teabagging is, in this case or any case, in fact - ignorance is bliss. Don't google it. Surely it must end hear you must be thinking but no. I went to see what the guys where doing next door when I found a massive polish guy hanging around our door outside. He must have heard the music and excitement from outside our door. As soon as the door opened he was in, seeing Mr. "I'm going to have a shower but before that I'm going to drink Gin butt naked for three hours" he seemed to think that was the dress code. So he whipped his trousers down and shouted "It's party time!" He was quickly thrown out! And if I could hit my head on something to erase this memory, I would do.
While we waited for one of the overpriced taxi's we had a guinness in the hotel bar. There was a couple sat their who are always there every night drinking. When the man told us that they had lived there for 4 months, without missing a beat Dan said "So, you're a bit like Alan Partridge then?" The taxi arrived just in time and we were off.
Dan had hooked us up with a"VIP" table in the most exclusive club in Dublin. I can't remember the name it was something like crystal or something. Any way we never made it to our table the whole night and we figured out we then walked into the club next door which was outside and spent the whole night there. I don't remember any other details. This is mainly because...it was a long time ago.
In our room only me and Luke made it back. There was a double and single so there was one spare. "One of us should probably sleep in the spare bed"
"yeah"
then we both got into the same bed. It was a bit like the relationship in friends where Joey and Ross always have naps together.
The next day we went to Jameson's factory where there is no way of getting more than one free drink so it's not getting as good as a write up as the Guinness factory. It was ok. But the smell of whiskey really was not what we wanted after the night we had. As it was our last day in Dublin and exhaustion was setting in, we took this day a little easier than the others and it had probably to do with us spending most our money already. We went to Gourmet burger to get some food and I ended up paying 40 pound for one burger. The reason? Because I had to go over my overdraft and got a 30 pound charge for the pleasure. When asked how did it feel to spend so much on a burger I said "I'll let future Johnny g worry about that!" And that's my new motto. We had a few hours to kill and about 10 euros each so what better way to spend them than in a fabulous club in Dublin. I think entrance was 10 euros so how we got drinks I have no idea, I think a few of the lovely locals bought us enough drinks to get by.
On the plane back Pagey asked me "so how does future Johnny g feel about past Johnny G" I replied "I'm not sure about future Johnny g, but present Johnny G thinks Dublin Johnny G is a right dick"
And that was Dublin, the place where dreams are made of. I have not had a guinness that tastes as good since and I would swim there to get another one of those bad boys! It was a pleasure.
I will be on top of the blog for the next month at least as I will be writing up the diary I kept when I volunteered in Ghana, maybe every day or at least every second day. So keep checking for that.
Thanks for reading. Sorry for the lateness again.
Sunday, 3 April 2011
Dublin and Guinness - Day one
Again I have to start my blog with an apology for the lack of the blogging. I literally have been pressing the snooze button constantly for 2 months. Actually, I was working on my dissertation but now that the mofo is finished I can do some more blogs. It has nothing to do with Aniek (Happy now?) telling me to write a new blog or the fact she is known to get violent.
The other day I was drinking a Guinness and it made me think about Dublin and how amazingly different the Guinness tastes there. Anyone who's been will know what i'm talking about! So I thought in this blog I would write about Dublin and the trip I went on a couple of years ago for Sam's birthday with Luke, Pagey, Dan and Miles... and Sam obviously. We got £1 pound flights, with one of those cheap airlines, so that was our reason for going to Dublin. The kind of airline when the plane lands safely the pilot begins to play a trumpet...or maybe it's a CD (I don't know...but I would like to think it's the pilot playing) and everyone on the plane starts clapping and hugging because they are still alive - you know the sort.
But knowing us the adventure started before we even left the airport. Because it was a cheapo airline where you get free hand luggage and they are strict on the weight and size of the bag. If it's slightly too heavy or big they will charge you to check it in. I thought it would be a good idea to double up on clothes to avoid being screwed over. Sam is the organised one of our group and he had all the boarding passes for everyone and gave them all to us as we were about to go through security. In the line for the metal detector thingy, one of the guards called out "is there a John Griffith here?". I'm not going to lie I was a bit scared but then I remembered I was not a drug mule so I relaxed a bit but I was concerned to how this security guy knew my name. Has this guy got intel on my second pair of boxers? Who's grassed me up?! I owned up that I was infact me and he dangled a bit of paper in his hand - which turned out to be my boarding pass. "I think you'll be needing this, I'll put it here pick it up when you come through". This led to a few jokes from everyone about how typical it was of me. After going through the whole x-ray process and being looked at like a terrorist, we were ready for the departure lounge and more importantly duty free. The security shouted after me "John, You've forgotten it again." He definitely thought I was a bit special needs but who isn't these days.
We're still not even on the plane yet and we get to duty free. We heard that the prices in Dublin were crazy so we did the sensible thing and brought 4 bottles of veuve cliquoet champagne, of course! I still have no idea how this happened I was on the phone trying to get through to Tesco dublin to see how much vodka was...Which is extortionate by the way. 25 euros for a bottle of Glen's vodka! We landed at Dublin airport at 10pm, the pilot did his trumpet thing and the passengers thanked God. We get into a taxi and tell the driver that the hotel is in Balymon. He replied "I don't think there is a hotel in Balymon". Anyway we get to Balymon after a long drive and it turns out Balymon is pretty much like the Eastern Block with a brand new travel lodge smack bang in the middle of it. As we drove past various buildings the driver warned us not to go in them. One place he said "Don't go in d'ere. You's get your trout licked if you go in d'ere." noticing are confused looks to whether it was a good or bad thing to have your trout licked, he made a hand gesture and it turns out it means getting your throat slit...so brilliant. What a tranquil place.
By the time we checked in and got to our rooms we found out that all liquor shops close at 10 so for pre drinking all we had was the champagne from duty free. We ended up playing drinking games with it in mugs, probably the worst possible way to drink champagne. Luke warm champagne in mugs, in a travel lodge, in the eastern block...Real classy.
The cobbled streets of Dublin are amazing. We went to a few bars and ordered Guinness which was like 6 euro 50 which we worked out was 6 times as much as the flight! That's how they get you! Cheap flights but bloody expensive drinks! After the first one I think we all became addicts and Guinness became our crack. After queueing up for the same club twice without getting anywhere we found a student club, which had an underground dance floor with a thin spiral staircase leading to it. While we were on the dance floor there was some girls dancing near us and one of them started busting some crazy shock dance moves like i'd never seen before. I'm not sure about the others but I stopped to watch...it turns out these were not dance moves at all... she was having an epileptic fit! As she began to fall into us we caught her. We carried her off the dance floor where we had a comedy moment Pagey was knocking people out of the way to clear a path, as me and Luke missed the spiral staircase all together and there was a trail of people following behind and then we all had to back up awkwardly to reach the stairs. When we got to the top, the bouncers took over and stole our glory. ..Didn't even get a free drink...Rubbish! Turns out you're not meant to move them at all...whoops.
And to be honest I don't really remember what happened after this that night but this Dublin tale shall be continued! A lot happened in 72 hours. So in the first few hours of being there we found out what trout licking is, took part in the most expensive drinking game, queued for the same club twice, and saved an epileptic girl (I think).
x
Saturday, 29 January 2011
My Daily Battle With Technology...
So, like you, I wake up to the annoying sound of beeping which attacks my sleep from my alarm clock. Every day I do the same thing, like a ritual: I look at my phone and see the friendly snooze alarm option and like a fool I give into its glory...I know it's wrong but I do it anyway. 5 minutes later the alarm goes off again and again I press the snooze. Then depending on the day It will be a repeat procedure for at least 25 minutes. I'm usually late to where ever it is I need to go. ..and it's all the snooze alarms fault, dammit!
Why give us an option? Why give it to us! It's like when God put the apple tree in the garden of Eden. What's Adam going to do? Of course he's going to taste the forbidden fruit (I bet it was the balls) and I think God knew this. Just like the alarm clock people know we're going to press that button. Those 5 forbidden snooze sleeping minutes are the best. Every time you press the button you lose something from your morning routine..."I didn't want breakfast anyway"..."There goes the shower" and so on till there's just about time to throw on the clothes that are closest to you and then rush off to work.
And I know even after writing this I'm still going to do it tomorrow.
The second piece of technology that has it in for me is vending machines. They are so smug! Especially the ones at Uni. I hate those Mofo's!
Just yesterday, I had an encounter. I was already annoyed at paying the high price for a bottle of coke that I could have got cheaper if I took a 2 minute walk to the shop. But I went for the convenience...The bottle got jammed at the bottom and I spent 5 minutes kicking it. Eventually after the clever use of the library newspaper and help from my friend Ben, I got the bottle. I wasn't going to be outsmarted by a vending machine. Not that day, anyway.
I've also been mugged by one. I had a Crunchie craving one day, like you do, and headed for the machine. I Put my money in, in my excitement pressed the wrong button and got an inferior chocolate bar...not naming names. So, I put my last 50p hoping to get the Crunchie and it straight up jacked me! No subtlety about it! It was laughing at me and there was nothing I could do about it! Nothing. Who can you talk to? What can you do? I felt like a victim.
I was so annoyed I was ranting to my friend Zelly about it later.
"I hate vending machines, they are probably the worst things in the world"
she said " What about rapists? You think a vending machine is worse then a rapist?"
She had a good point. I thought about it and "well a rapist has never stolen my last 50p when I really wanted a Crunchie!"
...Maybe in hindsight it was a little over the top.
Seriously though something has got to be done about these rogues! They can't keep getting away with this. I for one am not going to put up with it anymore! Who's with me?
Tuesday, 4 January 2011
Griffithism's Volume 2
I admit, not a great start to my blogging new year...however, I did have a fashion faux par with a dog, so that's great...more on that in another blog.
Hope everyone had a great Christmas and New year. Seems like so long ago already now, doesn't it. It's all about the family time and it's where some old stories get retold. My favourite being this one, involving Papa G and my older sister Gemma.
So, Papa G was about to have a shower but didn't have a towel. He thought he was alone for some reason so he waltzed through to the hallway, in all his glory, in search of a towel. He opened the airing cupboard to find one. He heard light footsteps on the stairs. In panic, he jumped into the airing cupboard and closed the door behind him.
It turns out Gemma, who was about 14 at the time, was also in search of a towel and headed straight for the airing cupboard. But upon opening the door, instead of the inviting warmed towels that are usually in there. there was her dad. Naked, covering his modesty. He said the first thing that came to mind "Uh, It doesn't seem that I have any clothes on at the moment, Gemma". She simply replied "OK" and shut the door, leaving him to it. I would love to have known what was going through her mind at this time. Did she think that Papa G was some kind of airing cupboard pervert weirdo? Or did she think it was just a Dad thing? That's what Dad's do. Classic Papa G is what I'm thinking.
Okay so you remember my sister Julia? The girl who joined a gym and 8 months later still didn't know how to find it? Well, she came up with another classic. Being New year and all she decided to try out a new diet and was telling her friend Rachel all about it.
Julia: "I started a new diet today, it's going really well".
Rachel: "That's great. what diet is it?"
Julia: "It's an alternative day diet. You have Up days - where you can eat anything you want and Down days where you eat hardly anything."
Rachel: "what have you done for your diet today?"
Julia: "oh, nothing. Today is an up day so I can eat what I want!"
...So really she hadn't started a diet. Not only that, to make sure she wouldn't forget, in her diary she had written up, down, up, down on everyday of the first few weeks. Gotta love her.
Anyways, that is it for Griffithisms. More stories on the way soon, plus hopefully a photo of my Fashion faux par with a dog...Has this happened to anyone else?
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