As seems to be the protocol of my blog, I need to start with an apology for the lack of blogging again. I'm beginning to feel like a divorced parent who gets the kids on an occasional weekend always promising to take them to a football game the next time and I just keep letting them down and then they grow up to have issues. So not wanting you guys to grow up to have issues (if you already have issues I'm in no way responsible), we will go to the football game and it will be on the regular. By football game...I of course mean, I will write my blog more often and give you that brain candy you severely deserve.
Okay, so it has been an incredible summer for me and has flown by at 100mph. I've met so many great people, made some wonderful friends, had some amazing experiences, and laughs have been coming by the thousands. Can't ask for more. I will firstly finish the tale of Dublin as I left it on a cliffhanger leaving you all warmed up.
So Day Two. The Guinness brewery and Sam's birthday. Probably one of the coolest places in the world, where everyone pretends to be interested in all the information about the history of Guinness as they're secretly searching for the place to cash in the drink token. I was no exception. Although near the entrance there is a massive pit full of barley. Whenever someone in the group thinks up an idea that would be funny but no one with at least a couple of brain cells would even think about doing, all eyes end on me. In this case they thought it would be funny for someone to jump into the pit of barley. But I didn't really want to be that guy today, there was too many people around and if I got kicked out before I managed to cash in my token, I would have been pissed.
At the end of the tour we learned how to pour the perfect pint of Guinness and received a certificate praising us for these skills. I think you know this qualification appears on my CV right next to the 50 metre swimming badge. At the top of the brewery there is a bar with glass windows that overlooks the city of Dublin. It's quite a sight to behold. We spoke to the bar staff and told them it was Sam's birthday and then the bar manager made an announcement on the microphone about it. Everyone in the bar stopped to watch as she began singing happy birthday and most people joined in. After that, a few more people came up to her and telling her it was their birthday's. If you know Luke then you know he has a pair of lungs on him and his voice can reach pretty amazing levels, enough for everyone to stop to look at him as he sings. People then kept coming over and giving us their unwanted Guinness tokens - luke got most of them. An American woman called patty came over to us thinking that we were a choir. She wanted her daughter to meet "the choir boys". It turned out that her daughter, Shannon had just got divorced and along with her sister Maggie and her new husband Harry they were in Dublin celebrating the divorce. We were invited to the table and there we drank with them the rest of the day. Mainly we got free drinks but sometimes we had to go to the cash bar to buy drinks at a low rate of 4 euro 40. On the way to the bar me and miles saw a man being filmed as he poured a pint and spoke to the camera. It was the guy that is in all of the videos as you walk around the brewery - I can't remember his name. Anyway he gave us the beers he had poured and we ended up being on camera tasting them. Whether the footage was used I have no idea.
The average time spent in the bar in the Guinness brewery bar is around 40 minutes. We were there for about 6 hours and it was dark by the time we left. On the way to the exit there was of course the pit of barley. We were all by this stage pretty much two Guinesses (not sure what the plural of Guinness is?) from hitting the floor, so we ran and jumped into the barley mound and did what I like to think was the worlds first mass Barley angel attempt - A joint American and UK attempt. I know there is a photo of it somewhere or at least some cctv footage kicking about, so if yes, please send it to me so I can post it on here.
We got back to the trusty old travel lodge in the eastern block, that we were calling home for the few days. For some reason, not naming names, but he knows who he is, we'll call him, I don't know, Mr. "I'm going to have a shower but before that I'm going to drink Gin butt naked for three hours", for now. And that's exactly what he did. Not content with burning mine and Luke's retinas, as we tried to get ready for a night out, he thought it would be hilarious to teabag a Gin and tonic that was closest to him, only it turned out to be his gin and tonic. The look on his face was amazing! If you don't know what teabagging is, in this case or any case, in fact - ignorance is bliss. Don't google it. Surely it must end hear you must be thinking but no. I went to see what the guys where doing next door when I found a massive polish guy hanging around our door outside. He must have heard the music and excitement from outside our door. As soon as the door opened he was in, seeing Mr. "I'm going to have a shower but before that I'm going to drink Gin butt naked for three hours" he seemed to think that was the dress code. So he whipped his trousers down and shouted "It's party time!" He was quickly thrown out! And if I could hit my head on something to erase this memory, I would do.
While we waited for one of the overpriced taxi's we had a guinness in the hotel bar. There was a couple sat their who are always there every night drinking. When the man told us that they had lived there for 4 months, without missing a beat Dan said "So, you're a bit like Alan Partridge then?" The taxi arrived just in time and we were off.
Dan had hooked us up with a"VIP" table in the most exclusive club in Dublin. I can't remember the name it was something like crystal or something. Any way we never made it to our table the whole night and we figured out we then walked into the club next door which was outside and spent the whole night there. I don't remember any other details. This is mainly because...it was a long time ago.
In our room only me and Luke made it back. There was a double and single so there was one spare. "One of us should probably sleep in the spare bed"
"yeah"
then we both got into the same bed. It was a bit like the relationship in friends where Joey and Ross always have naps together.
The next day we went to Jameson's factory where there is no way of getting more than one free drink so it's not getting as good as a write up as the Guinness factory. It was ok. But the smell of whiskey really was not what we wanted after the night we had. As it was our last day in Dublin and exhaustion was setting in, we took this day a little easier than the others and it had probably to do with us spending most our money already. We went to Gourmet burger to get some food and I ended up paying 40 pound for one burger. The reason? Because I had to go over my overdraft and got a 30 pound charge for the pleasure. When asked how did it feel to spend so much on a burger I said "I'll let future Johnny g worry about that!" And that's my new motto. We had a few hours to kill and about 10 euros each so what better way to spend them than in a fabulous club in Dublin. I think entrance was 10 euros so how we got drinks I have no idea, I think a few of the lovely locals bought us enough drinks to get by.
On the plane back Pagey asked me "so how does future Johnny g feel about past Johnny G" I replied "I'm not sure about future Johnny g, but present Johnny G thinks Dublin Johnny G is a right dick"
And that was Dublin, the place where dreams are made of. I have not had a guinness that tastes as good since and I would swim there to get another one of those bad boys! It was a pleasure.
I will be on top of the blog for the next month at least as I will be writing up the diary I kept when I volunteered in Ghana, maybe every day or at least every second day. So keep checking for that.
Thanks for reading. Sorry for the lateness again.
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