Day 15
Woke up (Still no butchering by the saw puppet man). Saw Glenn lying in the bed next to me, rolled out of bed, after the usual morning wrestle with the mosquito net. avoiding conflict with the floor, that could not have been cleaned since the compound was made by slipping on my flip flops or as they call them in Australia: thongs. Which in my experience only causes confusion when the middle aged man you're staying with tells you that you need to get some thongs.
I walked across the compound for my morning poo. But there was someone shaving in there. So I sat on what I think was a well with a slab of metal covering it. (I forgot to mention that the taboo subject of poo is a subject thrown around the volunteers and it is an acceptable topic of conversation, even at the dinner table. I learned in Africa girls do actually poo. But in England they don't. That's what I choose to believe anyway.) So yes someone was shaving in the toilet from Saw. It turned out to be Glenn "the shape shifter" Davis. I stared at him like I just witnessed him walking on water. Glenn was really confused as I said to him in awe "How did you do that?" Glenn must have thought I'd been drugged. It turned out that I must have fallen asleep after seeing Glenn lying asleep and then woke up presuming he was still there - what a misunderstanding. Or that's what Glenn said happened anyway. I'm on to you! What a crazy life I lead.
The daily routine was beginning to run really tired but the realisation that there were only two days left of the routine dragged us through. Also the fresh perspective and enthusiasm of Sean seemed to help a lot.
Whenever Joe and I are absent from the group, conspiracies seem to emerge, and yes they always seem to be right, we have snuck off for a cheeky beer, usually on the way to going somewhere or when getting food. Nap time is also a good opportunity.
Tonight Sean, Joe and me were sent out to get some Veg. It was pretty late and all the veg was used up in the food for the orphans. Nowhere in Santrokofi was open or would have any more veg until market day. We needed to get to Hohoe which is about a ten minute drive. After standing by the roadside to flag down a taxi, for what seemed forever. The only taxi we saw parked outside a spot or as we call them bar to cross the road to get a drink. So we spoke to him at the bar telling him we were on a vegetable hunt, getting a couple of road beers at the same time. Going against my better judgment getting in the banger racer cab with a driver who's drinking a bottle of something in the front. As soon as we got to Hohoe the driver told us "I don't think the market is open, you won't be able to get these things." Now he tells us. But we were determined not to come back empty handed as the rest of the group would have thought we had just gone to a bar the whole time.
We asked a few people who had stalls and one woman told us to follow her. It was quite a long walk weaving through mud huts and makeshift wooden stalls till we found a small community of mud huts with like a court where they prepared things for market. I think we paid over the odds but we didn't mind. We arrived back to Santro and returned our beer bottles to the spot. In Ghana beer is usually served in a bottle and the bar needs to return the bottles to the brewery otherwise they get a fine. The woman who works there told us we owed her bottles from the night before. Which we had given back to the wrong bar. We owed bottles all over town. Joe came up with a genius idea of buying some beers from the other bar on Harrison's walk home and then dropping them back on the way home. Since the iphone incident Harrison's grandmother would not allow him to stay over night, so every night we would walk him to the second village of Santro and then back again in the pitch black. After dropping him off and talking to his grandma we headed back.
We got back to the first town and a man started shouting at us from across the road. It wasn't aggressive it was like he knew us. He crossed the road and said "It's me Richard, the hunter" who we had seen with a gun in the forest on one of our day walks that week. Richard was very proud of his name because after everything he said he would mention " That is why I'm called Richard" He seemed pretty normal to us and wanted to walk us home. Which of course means lets go via a bar. He ordered himself a triple abatasi, The drink which burns your insides and then leaves your mouth with a horrible after taste but the round cost about 30p so who's complaining.
We were already late meeting the volunteers and we felt we should invite him to come to the bar with us. But Richard really dominated the conversation and went on a massive rant about his life and how his wife would do anything he asked. Kinza said to him "So if you called her and said I have 15 yavoo's here who are hungry and she would get up and cook for us" And then a number of other scenarios where thrown at him. I could tell that everyone was angry with me and Joe for inviting him there although I think it was entertaining. He would keep saying "Ask anyone about my stories they will tell you" Then he would tell us anyway. Eventually he did leave and then we just did impressions of him.
Sunday 20 November 2011
Monday 14 November 2011
Volunteering in Ghana - Day 14
Day 14
Daddy, I'm a farmer! This morning we each planted a plantain plant. Mine is going to grow into the biggest plantain plant in all the land. Kinza bought the farmland next to the orphanage that is being built to provide food for the orphanage once it is completed. At the moment it is about to have it's roof built.
Did the usual being a human trampoline/ climbing frame/ drool sponge for the day. Really understanding what it would be like to be a parent or at least what it would be like to be Steve Martin in "Cheaper by the Dozen" with out the slapstick comedy...well maybe some I guess. I don't think an hour goes by without a tantrem, or crying fit or one of the kids saying "give me toffee" or "give me one" or "Carry me". I always reply telling them to carry me, only because they never say the magic word. Maybe the kids work on a rota too, where they all have time slots to be the angel and the villain. They always seem to balance it out just right so it doesn't drive us completely up the wall and then they are all well behaved just before dinner and after dinner in case there are any leftovers. But they have started to learn when Brother Johnny is around there are no left overs.
Daddy, I'm a farmer! This morning we each planted a plantain plant. Mine is going to grow into the biggest plantain plant in all the land. Kinza bought the farmland next to the orphanage that is being built to provide food for the orphanage once it is completed. At the moment it is about to have it's roof built.
Did the usual being a human trampoline/ climbing frame/ drool sponge for the day. Really understanding what it would be like to be a parent or at least what it would be like to be Steve Martin in "Cheaper by the Dozen" with out the slapstick comedy...well maybe some I guess. I don't think an hour goes by without a tantrem, or crying fit or one of the kids saying "give me toffee" or "give me one" or "Carry me". I always reply telling them to carry me, only because they never say the magic word. Maybe the kids work on a rota too, where they all have time slots to be the angel and the villain. They always seem to balance it out just right so it doesn't drive us completely up the wall and then they are all well behaved just before dinner and after dinner in case there are any leftovers. But they have started to learn when Brother Johnny is around there are no left overs.
Volunteering in Ghana - Day 13
Day 13
Today Saviour arrived to join the group with Sister Vilda - she loves to clean. Again today was one of the routine days that felt very similar to the day before or maybe we still are in that day now, it's hard to tell.
My ability to say inappropriate things or saying that sounds dirty is reaching new levels. It's usually because my mouth just says things before my brain can catch up. I'm starting to sound like the Todd from scrubs with his "in your endos" I should write a book or should hire one of those note takers they have in court to document what is said, as I can't remember most of them. Hopefully some of the lovely volunteers can remember some. A funny one that I can remember, mainly because it keeps getting brought up - is on my Birthday when I was asked if I wanted to bath the orphans I replied with " It's my birthday, the orphans should be bathing me." Which taken in the wrong context could see me put on the register and banned from playgrounds, which is a shame as I like those roundabouts.
My favourite person who says inappropiate things accidentally has to be Beccy who once started a sentance with "When I was inside my mum..." when talking about her mum being pregnant. And she also started another with " I tell you what an inch makes all the difference" when talking about her new shoes.
Today Saviour arrived to join the group with Sister Vilda - she loves to clean. Again today was one of the routine days that felt very similar to the day before or maybe we still are in that day now, it's hard to tell.
My ability to say inappropriate things or saying that sounds dirty is reaching new levels. It's usually because my mouth just says things before my brain can catch up. I'm starting to sound like the Todd from scrubs with his "in your endos" I should write a book or should hire one of those note takers they have in court to document what is said, as I can't remember most of them. Hopefully some of the lovely volunteers can remember some. A funny one that I can remember, mainly because it keeps getting brought up - is on my Birthday when I was asked if I wanted to bath the orphans I replied with " It's my birthday, the orphans should be bathing me." Which taken in the wrong context could see me put on the register and banned from playgrounds, which is a shame as I like those roundabouts.
My favourite person who says inappropiate things accidentally has to be Beccy who once started a sentance with "When I was inside my mum..." when talking about her mum being pregnant. And she also started another with " I tell you what an inch makes all the difference" when talking about her new shoes.
Monday 7 November 2011
Volunteering in Ghana - Day 12
Day 12
Good start to the day - wasn't tortured in the night. It's Monday and back to the summer school routine of rotas and schooling. In our class we seemed to have a few missing from the week before, which worked out well as it was easier to teach them, and also I didn't have to sharpen as many pencils as usual. We had a new addition to the Volunteers. Kinza's Brother Joe arrived to help out. He's a fan of road beers too, so we get on grand. I don't know how it happened but before I knew it we were at a pub.
More and more, the conversation is turning to the food the we miss and the levels of drool are becoming a health and safety issue. Anything different to rice. Anything.
Johnny Observations
All taxi drivers seem to be moonlighting as banger car racers. Using the same car for both. You're onto a winner when you get a taxi that has has all it's doors.
Good start to the day - wasn't tortured in the night. It's Monday and back to the summer school routine of rotas and schooling. In our class we seemed to have a few missing from the week before, which worked out well as it was easier to teach them, and also I didn't have to sharpen as many pencils as usual. We had a new addition to the Volunteers. Kinza's Brother Joe arrived to help out. He's a fan of road beers too, so we get on grand. I don't know how it happened but before I knew it we were at a pub.
More and more, the conversation is turning to the food the we miss and the levels of drool are becoming a health and safety issue. Anything different to rice. Anything.
Johnny Observations
All taxi drivers seem to be moonlighting as banger car racers. Using the same car for both. You're onto a winner when you get a taxi that has has all it's doors.
Thursday 3 November 2011
Volunteering in Ghana - Day 11
Day 11
Was woken up by Yau who jumped in the bed for morning nap time in between me and Glenn. Glenn started playing the game that your dad does, or the uncle who's not really your uncle, plays with you. It's called the "I've got your nose" game. A game that has haunted generations of children for years. Glenn being British and Yau being African, it didn't really work. As the game usually goes the child would shout "put it back" or just burst into crying, thinking their nose has been stolen or ripped from their face. Poor Yau must have thought he was turning into Michael Jackson and his plastic nose had been removed. Despite Glenn's best efforts Yau didn't cry. More a look of confusion.
After the light introduction to the day, it turned dark when Glenn discovered that his iphone and ipod were missing. Glenn's ipod had gone missing two days before. It took Glenn two days to realise about the phone because nobody calls or texts him. It seemed like too much of a coincidence as we had already searched High and low. We began our investigation. Yau told us that he had seen cornelius and dolce with them on the friday when they went missing and he was told not to say anything. We separated the three older boys from the others and asked them what they knew. They wouldn't talk so we separated them. As soon as we did the little birds began to chirp. Dolce was the only one who didn't say anything. Was it to do with his loyalty to his boys or was it more than likely the fact that he doesn't understand any English.
I've seen a lot of interrogations in my time...well on TV anyway. The best tactical approach is as we all know the good cop/ bad cop method. One plays the bad guy, the other plays the friend. I got confused to which one I was so I ended up playing both characters. Being the only person in the room, I must have come across as having split personality syndrome and probably freaked out the orphan in question.
All this and it was only 11am and that meant time to leave for the waterfall. It was a bit of a trek but it was absolutely beautiful when we got there. It's the biggest waterfall in West Africa and it was a sight to behold. We went for a dip in the water and had to walk back first towards the falling water as the spray was so powerful. We slowly hobbled till we were under the fall. It felt like needles falling down on my head. It was the best power shower I have ever had and the closest to being in a Herbal Essence commercial I will ever get.
Glenn, Me and Kwame all moved out of the house to go to the compound. On the way Nunana saw me with my bags and asked "Are you going back to England?" I told him just to the compound. "What would you do if we were leaving" Nunana said "I'd get my bag and follow you".
The compound as I mentioned in a previous post has a bathroom that looks like it's out of Saw. It won't be long till a little puppet fella comes along and plays games with us where you have to chew through your own Achilles tendon or die and even if you do it, he'll have another trick up his sleeve and will kill us anyway. Prick.
Was woken up by Yau who jumped in the bed for morning nap time in between me and Glenn. Glenn started playing the game that your dad does, or the uncle who's not really your uncle, plays with you. It's called the "I've got your nose" game. A game that has haunted generations of children for years. Glenn being British and Yau being African, it didn't really work. As the game usually goes the child would shout "put it back" or just burst into crying, thinking their nose has been stolen or ripped from their face. Poor Yau must have thought he was turning into Michael Jackson and his plastic nose had been removed. Despite Glenn's best efforts Yau didn't cry. More a look of confusion.
After the light introduction to the day, it turned dark when Glenn discovered that his iphone and ipod were missing. Glenn's ipod had gone missing two days before. It took Glenn two days to realise about the phone because nobody calls or texts him. It seemed like too much of a coincidence as we had already searched High and low. We began our investigation. Yau told us that he had seen cornelius and dolce with them on the friday when they went missing and he was told not to say anything. We separated the three older boys from the others and asked them what they knew. They wouldn't talk so we separated them. As soon as we did the little birds began to chirp. Dolce was the only one who didn't say anything. Was it to do with his loyalty to his boys or was it more than likely the fact that he doesn't understand any English.
I've seen a lot of interrogations in my time...well on TV anyway. The best tactical approach is as we all know the good cop/ bad cop method. One plays the bad guy, the other plays the friend. I got confused to which one I was so I ended up playing both characters. Being the only person in the room, I must have come across as having split personality syndrome and probably freaked out the orphan in question.
All this and it was only 11am and that meant time to leave for the waterfall. It was a bit of a trek but it was absolutely beautiful when we got there. It's the biggest waterfall in West Africa and it was a sight to behold. We went for a dip in the water and had to walk back first towards the falling water as the spray was so powerful. We slowly hobbled till we were under the fall. It felt like needles falling down on my head. It was the best power shower I have ever had and the closest to being in a Herbal Essence commercial I will ever get.
Glenn, Me and Kwame all moved out of the house to go to the compound. On the way Nunana saw me with my bags and asked "Are you going back to England?" I told him just to the compound. "What would you do if we were leaving" Nunana said "I'd get my bag and follow you".
The compound as I mentioned in a previous post has a bathroom that looks like it's out of Saw. It won't be long till a little puppet fella comes along and plays games with us where you have to chew through your own Achilles tendon or die and even if you do it, he'll have another trick up his sleeve and will kill us anyway. Prick.
Volunteering in Ghana - Day 10
Day 10
Woken up to the sound of crashing rain on the tin roof. This light roof makes light rain sound like heavy rain. Today it sounded like an elephant jogging on the spot above my head. This caused the trip to the waterfall to be canceled which was a shame because we were all looking forward to it after a hard week in the classrooms. I think in a line-up it would be pretty hard to pick out any of the volunteers out of a teacher line-up as the Impostor. The only thing that would give us away is the lack of coffee bean halitosis among us.
It was decided that we would have a movie day as the rain was off an on. As soon as it stopped we would go outside then inevitably the rain would begin again. I noticed that the rain water was much warmer than the even colder than the showers so I thought I'd try and have a rain shower like a true jungle boy. But as I got my Towel and washing things ready and got out to the rain it stopped. Mother nature is a cruel mistress! I decided I would wait for it to rain again so for the rest of the day I was never more than an arms length away from my towel a bit like Mos Def in "The hitchhikers guide to the galaxy" minus the aliens and the galaxy or any kind of hitch hiking.
With the bribery of a movie day the kids really behaved themselves today but it didn't go without a few crying fits. Which really can be annoying when you can't hear a couple of the lines from Finding Nemo. I have come to realise that a crying child or a flock I think that's the correct terminology) of crying children is a bit like when you move into a house that's near a busy road or motorway. At first you can hear nothing but the engines of cars as they speed by, but eventually you won't notice it as much and will be able to hear the birds chirping in the trees. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this but among the cries I eventually could still follow what was happening to poor little Nemo with his little fin.
Woken up to the sound of crashing rain on the tin roof. This light roof makes light rain sound like heavy rain. Today it sounded like an elephant jogging on the spot above my head. This caused the trip to the waterfall to be canceled which was a shame because we were all looking forward to it after a hard week in the classrooms. I think in a line-up it would be pretty hard to pick out any of the volunteers out of a teacher line-up as the Impostor. The only thing that would give us away is the lack of coffee bean halitosis among us.
It was decided that we would have a movie day as the rain was off an on. As soon as it stopped we would go outside then inevitably the rain would begin again. I noticed that the rain water was much warmer than the even colder than the showers so I thought I'd try and have a rain shower like a true jungle boy. But as I got my Towel and washing things ready and got out to the rain it stopped. Mother nature is a cruel mistress! I decided I would wait for it to rain again so for the rest of the day I was never more than an arms length away from my towel a bit like Mos Def in "The hitchhikers guide to the galaxy" minus the aliens and the galaxy or any kind of hitch hiking.
With the bribery of a movie day the kids really behaved themselves today but it didn't go without a few crying fits. Which really can be annoying when you can't hear a couple of the lines from Finding Nemo. I have come to realise that a crying child or a flock I think that's the correct terminology) of crying children is a bit like when you move into a house that's near a busy road or motorway. At first you can hear nothing but the engines of cars as they speed by, but eventually you won't notice it as much and will be able to hear the birds chirping in the trees. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this but among the cries I eventually could still follow what was happening to poor little Nemo with his little fin.
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