Just another day

So, this morning I promised to give my housemate Majid a lift to town. I dropped him off but was running late for a guest lecture with an agent at my uni. I really didn't want to arrive late for this, so rather than driving back home and walking into uni. I thought I would try and get into the car park right next to my building. I thought the best way would be to pretend to be a guest lecturer so I could get past the Car Park Security, also known as the Gustapo of car parking...actually I just made that up (I tried to park there before and couldn't get through.).

I stopped at the barrier where the man in the fluorescent jacket was waiting, watching me with eyes which said to me, You can't park here, son! "Hi, I have a guest lecture today" (Not technically lying) The man looked at me "what's the name?". I was wondering wheter to use an alias or whether to use the name of the guest lecturer I was going to see, but I figured he was already there "Uh...John..Griffith" I said my surname really quickly in an attempt to fool the man. Hoping he'd be too embarrassed to ask me to repeat it. He said nothing as he checked the list on his clipboard "it's not here". What else was I expecting? I was tempted to fold my hand and reverse my car the hell out of there. For some reason I decided to stay in character "It's probably because I'm helping out a colleague today, I was only asked yesterday".

He asked me the name of my colleague. I made one up, then he said "maybe you're on the list at the front gate. Let me radio through - What was your name again?" I thought he was on to me. After all what kind of guest lecturer only has two plastic hubcaps on their car?!

I told him my name again, increasing the delivery of my surname. He did his radio voice thing (Sierra, Foxtrot) then said "Is there a John Griffin on the list". I was thinking this is it - he knows I'm a liar! He knows and he's going to kill me!" then without hesitation a reply came: "Yes!". I couldn't believe it, He made me a pass and through the gate I went. "I am literally the smartest man alive!" is what I told myself.

It's the little victories!! Anyway John Griffin, if you so happen to be reading this and are wondering why the hell the security would not let you park your car today or when you arrived they told you that you are already there, I am truly sorry for that. Really, I am.